Sarco Fuggus & His Dream
Sarco Fuggus began in 1946 with a simple dream: to make the best food he could, for the lowest price he could, with the ingredients he preferred. He first began his career working 14-hour days as a shock-order cook at Bernie's Burger Joint & Abbatoir in Anaheim, California. Saving his money, he went on to purchase his own tiny hot dog stand, where he served exotic and unusual meats; unfortunately it was destroyed when rioting churchgoers set it afire. He spent the next few years as a co-owner of Uncle Bastard's Roadkill Palace (a favorite among motorcycle clubs), but never forgot his goal: to open the best diner this side of Route 666.
In 1959, riding the crest of American prosperity, Sarco finally built his dream: a classic roadside diner along Chernobog Drive in Morbid Canyon. Vowing to continue the same quality he'd always strived to maintain, Sarco's Blood Bar & Grill overcame many obstacles, mainly from local religious groups and government departments. Oddly enough, after such incidents died down, Sarco's menu was always expanded to include new low-priced specials; even during the hard times, Sarco never forgot his customers.
Myrtle Yuba came on board as his first waitress in the new establishment, quickly adding her flair and expertise to the diner's rapidly growing reputation.
1967 saw our favorite chef hiring Cassandra Kett, a charming woman who waitressed for a few months, then took on the task of handling the books. Attraction grew between the two of them, and in September 1968 Cass Kett and Sarco Fuggus were married. Cass keeps herself busy in the gift shop, behind the counter, or over a calculator, but she always has a bright smile for customers. Say hi if you see her!
A Few Words From Our Best Waitress
"Howdy, hon! Lemme tell you, there's no better time than right now to come on into Sarco's. What with the Trekker convention in town and all, we're stocked to the grill fans with extra pointy-eared meat. Not since '72 have we had so many rib specials! My favorite is the skinny ribs, but our Thick N' Hearty Trekker Tri-Tip is a real treat, too."
"Betcha didn't know I used to be a Sarco's Pin Up Girl, didja? Yup, I had the finest gams in Morbid Canyon, before the gangrene set in. Now I keep in shape toting around trays of Republican Rump Roast to all you hungry patrons. Not regretting a thing, though; I had my day in the sun! 'Course, I don't go out in the sun much any more, but that's fine and dandy, 'cause neither do most of our customers."
"So don't be shy! Come on in and make Sarco Fuggus do some honest work in the kitchen!"
Help make Sarco's the historical landmark it deserves to be!
Contact the Morbid Canyon Chamber of Commerce for details.