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The 2003 Last-Minute Gothic Holiday Card The 2002 Non-Existent Online Holiday Card The 2001 No-Frills Online Holiday Card The 2000 Non-Apocalyptic Gothic Xmas Card The 1999 Not-Very-Gothic Xmas Card |
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch; you really are a heel, You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch! You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel! You're a monster, Mr. Grinch; Your heart's an empty hole, Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch! I wouldn't touch you with a... thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole! You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch; you have termites in your smile, You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch! Given a choice between the two of you, I'd take the... ...seasick crocodile! You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch; you're the king of sinful sots, You're a heart of dead tomato washed with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch! You're a three-decker sauerkrauten toadstool sandwich... ...with arsenic sauce! You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch; with a nauseous super notch, You're a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked horse, Mr. Grinch! Your soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable, mangled up in tangled up knots! You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch; you're a nasty wasty skunk, Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch!! The three words that best describe you are, and I quote: "Stink, Stank, Stunk! " |